My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
