farters have to be the big spoon...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
