i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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