She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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