I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
