We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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