I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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