she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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