No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
