hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
