Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Operation Purity has been aborted
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize