at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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