is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
