people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
