After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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