? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
