Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize