The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Randomize
