Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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