when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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