apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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