There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
