I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
