dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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