What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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