what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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