do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
