oh god the rape fog is back!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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