Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
