She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
