Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude i'm inner monologue high
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
