so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
