he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
