Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
