Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
