some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
