I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
