one two three fourrrrnication!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
