Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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