white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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