So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me š
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You kept saying ākekeā over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case youāre wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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