No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
