so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
