he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
