She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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