You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
