Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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