i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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