I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
