From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
