I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
