i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
