i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
