Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
