There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I wish I could teleport
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
