I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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