some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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