So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
