Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
