There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
