My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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