So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize