someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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